Posts Tagged ‘Alchohol’
This Whirlwind Weekend
The Dilemma
On Thursday I realised that JT was supposed to visit on Friday since he had postponed last Friday’s visit due to an appointment. Buttercup, Jasmine, and Daisy were going camping this weekend, and I was supposed to come too, but I wasn’t that excited about going because it wouldn’t be like last time, when it was just the three of us and Jasmine’s mother, the whole beach and starry sky to ourselves. It would be Jasmine’s entire family and a few family friends, and I just didn’t find the dynamic that would add up to as appealing. I felt bad about feeling relieved when camping was called off on Wednesday due to bad weather. Other reasoning aside, there was a chance that my Kabarett class would want to practice this weekend. They didn’t, but I didn’t know that until Thursday after I remembered JT’s and my tentative plans. Tentative, because our plans are always so, but plans nevertheless.
By that time Jasmine had already looked up the forecast again and declared camping back on, but of course I wasn’t sure about going. I hadn’t even technically said I would go at all; just that I probably could, but would know by Thursday. Plus, when I told him I wasn’t going camping after all, Leone had invited me to his racquetball tournament on Saturday and I’d said yes. I fretted about the decision all week: I had more reason to stay, but I knew that if I canceled Jasmine and Buttercup would be angry/sad (it didn’t help that Jasmine had just gotten over of a period of resentfulness aimed mostly toward Buttercup but some toward me as well), and also especially since it would just look like I was abandoning them now that I was dating someone, which was only half true. Camping was also a once-a-semester type deal; so was the tournament, but JT visiting not so much, even though sometimes it feels that way. I could also cancel on Leone, because even though I had said “yes” to him we hadn’t made any official plans, but I didn’t want it to seem like I was being unsupportive of the things he’s involved in or that he was just a backup plan and now that my real plans had been un-canceled I didn’t need him anymore. In addition, I actually did want to see him play. The plans with JT I had made earliest of all, but they were also the least plans-y of all, and I wasn’t even positive they wouldn’t fall through. When I divulged this all to him in a massive 7-page text message bittersweetly reminiscent of the text monstrosities of two semesters ago, he essentially said, “I’ll come if you don’t go camping.” (Not in a manipulative way, but in a “if you end up canceling your plans for me, I won’t make it so that you did it for nothing” kind of way)
I kept flip-flopping. If I went camping I couldn’t do anything else and I’d lose an entire weekend of work. If I stayed I could hang out with JT, go to the tournament, and potentially meet my Kabarett class and finish some reading. The balance was obviously tipped one way, and so I texted Jasmine and Buttercup with the bad news. Jasmine seemed terse and angry, but Buttercup surprisingly didn’t try to convince me to go.
