Life Worth Living

JT and Jack Dawson are in the other room. Alone. With the door closed. I hope they’re not, like, having sex in there, because it would be rude of them when I have dinner all heated and Buttercup is waiting for us to come over.

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Although, even if they’re talking—which I think is what they’re doing—it’s still a little rude of them.

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They did this a few hours ago too, at the dollar store. Jack Dawson had been pissy/quiet since he’d gotten here and he apparently pulled JT aside in the store and they then proceeded to have a 3o minute talk and I…strolled around the aisles and tried not to look like I was loitering around a dollar store. For 30 minutes. Finally I said to hell with it and went to fetch them, because there’s only so long a girl can stand in front of the check out lanes with a sullen look on her face.

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Tomorrow is Buttercup’s Halloween potluck, and I’m dressing up for the first time in years and I’m excited. On a similar note, a very hot guy that I think maybe possibly may be a little interested in me might be there. Haha, I guess it doesn’t sound very exciting on paper. Er, cybertext. Or whatever.

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Also, Korean 2 will be there. Korean 2, who, might I remind you all, Buttercup thinks likes me. And I see it too. And I have no real interest in him, except that I like that he likes me.

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Romeo might be there too. But I’m guessing not.

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I am so excited.

The Chemist texted me today to ask if he could come over later. I hadn’t seen him last week because it was Jasmine’s birthday, AND the sexcapade with Romeo had been after the last time I saw The Chemist, and so I was seriously, seriously considering answering no. My mind, here’s what it said:

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Update on Oh no, Romeo dun want me:

Buttercup texted me this morning. She said that Romeo apparantly didn’t see the freaking second half of her message, and that’s why he didn’t reply. He told her he didn’t want to call me because I didn’t seem that interested that night and she assured him that I only didn’t because I thought it would be awkward for her. That’s only half true. The boy needs to learn that girls are stupid sometimes and would rather feign disinterest and make the guy chase her than let him know shes interested. Or at least this one is.

So I might be getting a call soon, but let’s not get our hopes up. While I hope he calls because I’ve recently discovered that I freaking love giving blowjobs (who are we kidding, I knew this all along), I’m a little afraid that he’s looking down the relationship path of this thing, because that’s not where I’m looking. And even if I’m peeking down that path just a little (has this metaphor lost anyone yet?) I’m sure as hell not going to let him or even Buttercup know, because another thing I’ve recently discovered is that I’m afraid to show any vulnerability. And that fear, that’s what everything boils down to.

Wth was my last story freaking too-long-to-count ago? I need to get on that
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Buttercup asked me if I wanted Romeo‘s number. I told her no, but to give him mine and tell him to let me know when he’s horny. She didn’t at first because she didn’t want me to seem desperate, but recently when he messaged her she asked him if he wanted my number in a by-the-way. He replied to what she had said regarding the conversation proper, but not the by-the-way, and I’m guessing I should take this to mean he’s not interested? Surprisingly, I dont care as much as I thought I would. I dont take kindly to rejection, which is why I thought I’d be bummed, but I’m not really. Only thing is, I wish he would consent to replace The Chemist as my FWB, and I wonder if he thinks I want a romantic relationship, and that’s why he’s not chomping at the bit. Well; I hope that gets cleared up.
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The reason, I think, that I dont care nearly as much about Romeo’s apparant disinterest, is that I’m distracted by someone in my German class, who is hot as a smouldering volcano in August. He sits next to the window, so he’s always backlit, and that plus my crappy vision makes it really difficult to tell, but for the last few weeks I thought he’d been glancing over a lot. Last week he and I talked/joked/flirted, and this week I’m getting double the glancing over. Except now I know that he is, I’m not sure what that entails. Interest? Does he look at everyone? I would hate to lose this one too because neither of us had the balls to make the move, so I should get on that.
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Jack Dawson is a controlling, nosy, personal-space-invading jerk. And JT needs to grow a pair and either tell him to stop or tell him he wants out.

I have serious rugburn on my knees, and this is how I went about getting it:

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